Possibly the only word funnier than ‘pants’ is ‘pant’, as in, that’s a very attractive pant you have on there.

A few years ago, after an on-air anecdote about my father’s failed flirtation with lawn bowls, Fee B-Squared uttered the words ‘good on you Harry Highpants’. Dad responded by turning up to the Fitzroy studios of Triple R in whites and a hat, with pants at full mast.

I googled the expression ‘Harry Highpants’, and found some usage (‘Roy and HG’, a ‘Big Brother’ housemate), but no actual character. I then wrote a story about a town where people wear their pants at different heights. Harry Highpants naturally goes super high. Carl the builder goes ridiculously low. This Is until Roy Bland arrives in town, and runs for mayor on the platform of demanding pants be worn at ‘normal height’. A protest movement mobilises, a coming together of the low panters and the high panters at the Free Pants Convention. Eventually, in the tense standoff between the free panters and Bland’s pants fascists, Harry Highpants delivers an address that secures his status as a pants champion.

Amazingly, when reading the news a year or so later, I discovered that in Louisiana, a Republican called Derrick Shepherd had in real life tried to institute a pants law.

He wanted to fine low panters who exposed boxer shorts, or G-strings or even a glimpse of coin slot $500 per offense, and even threatened them with six months in jail.

The law was eventually defeated, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t celebrate Derrick Shepherd, a real life Roy Bland.

Harry Highpants will be in stores in August.